| Current music: | Halou - Stonefruit |
What the fuck am I listening to?
Happy Birthday ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
foucaultonacid. *licks you where it feels the best*
I admit it... I am too critical. I take shit that is meant to be uplifting and criticize it, making it shit, without even realizing that I am making myself feel bad in the process.
Case in point, on myspace, a friend of mine wrote a blog with the title "Christmas IS for Children" and it annoyed me so deeply, I fired off a response, criticizing it, but indirectly... but directly... you can read it and report how you felt about it if you want...
All I know is that after thinking about all that dark stuff... I felt... dark. I went from feeling really happy and at peace and in joy (I finished reading Powers: Forever which I think is the BEST comic I have read the entire year and I have read a GRIP of comics this year... it is THAT good. And although I didn't do yoga, I was in bed at 11:30 pm and woke up at 7:30 am AGAIN... small victories! And I am feeling better and didn't cough for three hours!) to feeling like shit.
I am going to start watching myself... because I keep making my own hells and then getting stuck in them. It takes so much effort to try to reverse this... like remembering that these are the dark days -- especially in Seattle where it takes on an ominous literalization -- and yer supposed to off-set the internalization of... the world with light.
Sure, it's getting more expensive to live, but we are living. Sure... ok, I have to stop because I am going to knock myself back in the barrel going that direction.
Time for me to actualize getting off-line... maybe for the day, but definitely right now.
